"The list"

The boys, my mom and I had the privelliage to attend a special event hosted by Kindering (http://www.kindering.org/) to meet the author, Jagatjoti Singh Khalsa who wrote, "I'm Down with You". (http://imdownwithyou.com/)

A nice lady checked us in and we received our name tags. Carter made a grand enterance, running from left to right talking to anyone who made eye contact with him. We were welcomed into a room filled with nothing but smiles. I felt like we were VIP in a special club, we got invited because we are on "the list". People came up to introduce themselves and wanted to know about our family. Throughout the evening we heard the author speak and families that told their story. It made me want to stand up and tell our story. I saw new parents with their one month old son who had DS, I wanted to run to them and tell them how I thought they were so brave to be there, I could not have done that. I wanted to tell them that it seems so unbearable and heartbreaking right now but it gets easier. I can remember those first couple weeks after bringing Carter home, some days I didn't know how I was going to make it to the next. But that little man of mine showed me how to love like I didn't know I could love. No one can tell you that after you find out, you can't even believe that you will ever be okay again. Some of the thoughts that went through my head in the beginning, I still feel guilty about and to this day I have never even said aloud. I wanted to tell those parents, I have felt it, I know your pain but one day you will be able to be the proud mama like I was that night. My boy lights up a room, he turns heads, his smile is contagious, he makes you laugh and he put us on "the list".