Sunday, February 19, 2012

What would you say?

Carter's first couple seconds of life
Right before we were given his diagnosis of DS
A few hours after. . .

A few days later, before being released from the hospital. Our first family picture together.
Posted by Picasa

Eric and I were recently asked if we would take part in an interview for Carter’s center, Children’s Therapy(https://www.dynamicfamilies.org/), where he has done classes and therapy since birth. I was so honored and immediately said yes. Children’s Therapy has been a life changing experience for our family. Carter’s therapist and teachers have made solid impacts on his strengthen and development over the years. I joke with his therapists and say they could have double billed our insurance over the years because I felt like I was also receiving therapy. They have been there to celebrate exciting happy moments and also been there when I needed a shoulder to cry on or just to vent my frustrations. During the interview I was asked what I would say to a new mother who had a baby with Down syndrome. And at the time I stumbled over my words and now looking back I would like a “take 2” because I didn’t word it right. As thousands of thoughts were going through my head, I wasn’t able to relay what I really wanted to say. I thought about what NOT to say, like “I’m so sorry” or “you were chosen by God to have this special child”. Statements not meant to intentionally hurt the new parents but just simply not what someone wants to hear. I realize my answer is simple. LOVE, love like there is no tomorrow, LOVE like you have nothing else to give, LOVE with every ounce of hurt in your soul. Your journey is going to have bumps in the roads and the hurt is evitable, your tears will come from the overwhelming sense of wanting to just protect your baby. You will mourn a loss of a baby you may have anticipated and that is okay. It is okay to feel pain because a month, a year or three years from now that pain will have made you stronger. That pain will have made you the mama that you are. A proud mama that is resilient and finds beauty in life’s simplest moments. You will look into those sweet beautiful eyes and see your baby, your baby that needs you and your baby that wants to be loved. You will have the same aspirations for your child that every other typical parent dreams of, that is to be accepted, admired and loved for who they are.

1 comment:

Lynne said...

this is a beautifully written post.