Sometimes in my head I will rate myself of how good of a mama I am for the day and hope that within the week it averages out. Sunday- lost it because babes split flour and sugar all over the floor, survey says “3” for the day. Mama should understand they are just curious and exploring right? Monday- story time at the library, walk around the block with a trip to the park, topped off with family swim night, survey says “8”. Mama used creativity without having to spend barely any money ($7 for swim) and simulated young minds.
As mothers we tend to always compare ourselves, whether you admit it or not. You watch in the grocery store to see how another mom handles her kids screaming throwing everything out of the cart. Yet when your child is in a restaurant throwing their food and cup, you pray that no one is watching in fear of being judged. “Look at that mom, she has no control of her kids.” When in reality we should be supporting each other. Help a sister out. You have been there. And if you haven’t yet, believe me you will. Parenting is down right hard. I try to cherish every day that I am home with my kids, but some days I cry. I cry because I wonder if I am doing it right or if I could do it better.
Then it brings me to Carter. There are days I forget he has DS and other days when I curse his DS. I wish things could be easier for him and sometimes even myself. But I feel so guilty for saying that out loud. Do I ever wish he didn’t have DS? No. Carter is the beautiful, vibrant, funny, energetic boy he would be DS or not. Yet when I am out with both of the boys, someone will come over and ask how old are they (after asking if they are twins). When I respond with 3 and 1 they are taken back for a minute. And I know why, because Carter is smaller than an average 3 year old and he isn’t talking as much as a “typical” 3 year old. But why compare? We compare ourselves as mothers, we compare our children, we are constantly sizing each other up. Why not stop and chill the “F” out?
And I know my post had a point . . . I may have rambled on to much or gotten a little too worked up. But I am passionate about being a mama, I am passionate about being Carter and Nolan’s mama. I am passionate about saying it is okay some days to be average. We all have our days.